.. a shrinking me update. Over the winter, I managed to become aware of the crap I was putting into my body. I tried to curb how much I ate, but my being good could only last so long. I’ve recently relapsed. I’m eating every chocolately thing in sight and taking portions that are way too big again. I haven’t weighed myself because numbers are depressing but I know I’ve regained some of the twenty pounds I lost this winter. My shorts aren’t as loose as they were a month ago.
Because I’m tired of seeing the round me in pictures, I’m going to do something about it. This morning? For the first time in two plus years, I woke up and actually did a tiny bit of exercise. It’s a start and it’ll lead up to where I want to be. Twenty crunches and ten pushups. I’m so out of shape that both of those hurt a little bit. I’m going to do it again tonight after dinner and every day from here on out. I don’t need luck, just a bit of resolve.
For a while, I was using Tumblr as a repository to keep some of my thoughts. I think what I got tired of is the high school mentality that seems to permeate the site. Reblogs and reposts, quizzes and surveys, secret messages and nonsense. I just didn’t have the heart for it. I guess I’m not social enough to get involved with social networking. I’ve covered that thought here on my blog many times in the past.
Starting today, I’m going to start using my blog more often. I’ve restarted the Shrinking Me initiative.. I may start posting the occasional comic book review. Who knows. I need to post something. I miss having an outlet for my thoughts and figure my domain should be useful for something more than just email.
I should be writing a document for work, but I’m not. I’m writing a blog post which will largely be about nothing. I put a new shrinking me post up yesterday and resolved to wake up every day committed to being better. Two days in, I’m doing well. Two days is far better than I’ve recently been.
I’ve also been thinking quite a bit about readership and blog stats. With any given post, I post a link on twitter, tumblr and sometimes FB. My readership peaked at 35 eyeballs a month or two ago. Between posts, my readership dwindles to nothing, as expected. I have a few hundred followers on twitter and a hundred more unique followers on facebook. 35 is pretty sad and makes me wonder why I do this. I appreciate the comments on my blog when they appear, I truly do.
I think where this post is headed is that I’m going to play a quick game. Between tumblr and rss readers, I’m going to see where my blog stats end up tomorrow. I’m not cross posting this to twitter or facebook. I predict that my blog will see 5-10 visitors tomorrow. We’ll see how my prediction holds.
Back to procrastinating. I think my next blog post will deal with my obsession with Google Analytics.
I fell off the wagon. Last spring, I decided I needed to lose weight. I made pretty good progress for a few months and lost 25ish pounds. It all fell apart when we took our family vacation to Florida. I decided I’d put my diet on hold while on the cruise. Good idea, right?
This “break” was followed by a cold, the holidays and then another cruise in january. Over the course of three months, I’ve nearly gained everything back. I’m still below 280 but depending on the time of day, it’s really cutting it close.
I’m not big on promises. They’re designed to be broken. I can’t promise myself that I’ll do better. I can’t hold a carrot in front of my face to make myself eat better and exercise. I’m smart enough to know I can’t trick myself into doing this. I simply need to wake up everyday committed to being better. I struggle with will power when it comes to food. I will wake up daily and change that reality. It’s not a choice. It’s a must.
We’ll see where i am next week.
A few weeks back, I posted that I’d finally hit my upper limit. 287 lbs. I’d decided to start working my way back toward my birth weight. Sure, getting there would be unhealthy but somewhere along the journey I’d be pretty fit/happy.
As of today.. I’m down 16 lbs from my max. It’s enough for clothes to fit differently. Belts to work less effectively. Polo shirts to feel less snug. It’s a good thing.
How am I doing this? I’m starving myself. Yep. In order to make it back to 9ish pounds, I’m no longer eating. Ok, maybe this last bit isn’t true. It just feels like it.
My doc and I made a deal two years about that if I lost a significant amount of weight, he’d leave me alone. (The wife seems to remember this deal) Over the course of two years, through hard work and determination, I put on 15 pounds. My reward for eating everything I could/wanted? Phentermine to help control my appetite.
It’s working. Damn that stupid drug. So far, the only side effect is that I’m flipping hungry. I eat half a chicken breast, I get full. Half a sandwich? Full. I bought pizza last week for the family, couldn’t eat beyond my second slice. Stupid drug.
It’s working, that’s what matters. Since starting on the drug and reducing my caloric intake, I’m down 8 pounds. When I start to feel less fatigued from the shock of the drug, I’m going to start exercising more regularly. (Consider my current work out involves turning the key in my ignition.)
Two weeks ago, I decided to care about what I was putting down my throat. I decided I wanted to stem the tide of my ever expanding waistline. At 287 pounds, I’d decided enough was enough. Exercise and me haven’t exactly been the best of friends in the past two weeks, but I’ve been to the pool twice and used my Wii-Fit more in two days than I have in 8 months.
When I woke up this morning to weigh myself for the first time in a few weeks, I’m happy to report that 278 feels much better. This is the part of my blog post in which I’d say something stupid like “It isn’t much..” or “I wish the number was lower..” but I have realistic expectations. I’ve been far more conscious of what I’m eating and how much I’m eating. I’ve exercised just enough to remember doing something and the scale reflects that level of effort.
3.5 pounds a week from a slight change in eating habits? I can live with that. It’s a start.
Shrinking Me isn’t the best description of my level of effort over the past week. Maintainable Me? I’m exactly where I was 7 days ago. No better.. worse only if you consider that I’m 7 days older and no healthier. I could blame a road trip. I could blame all sorts of things, but the blame begins and ends with me. I’ll resolve to be better this week.
I’ve also been thinking about how my life has changed over the past 4-5 years. It’s pretty dramatic. Some of it was wanted and some of it was forced upon me for the better. I am far happier where I am compared to where I was. I think for the first time in my life, I’ve stayed with the same company for more than three years. I’m in a happy and healthy relationship in which I can be who and what I want to be. I’m finally a dad.
My social life is still exactly where it was five years ago, dead. I do talk to more folks these days but only because twitter, facebook and forums make it easier to communicate in the modern world. Real friends that I can hang out with are non-existent.