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Marie decided a few months ago to do something nice for my birthday. She’s been trying to surprise me for quite some time and this week, while not surprised, she definitely made a great decision on a birthday gift.

We took a long weekend to fly to Florida, spend a weekend tooling around where I grew up (from time to time) and happened to be here for the Blue Angels homecoming air show at NAS Pensacola.

Things started out a bit poorly. Caitlin didn’t really want us to leave..

We landed safely in Pensacola..

Saw a Blue Angel F/A-18 when we got off the plane.. sort of..

And had dinner at my favorite restaurant when I was a kid..

We got a good night sleep… and got ready for our long day in the sun at the airshow.

I’ve been thinking a bit about MMOs lately and trying to figure out why I’m drawn to some MMOs and turned off by others.  While I tend to worry about quests, graphics, system performance and the community, I think fundamentally one factor matters more than all the rest.  My connectivity to my onscreen avatar.

Games have always been about immersing myself in the life of another character.  While Space Invaders was a great game, I was more personally connected with Pac-Man or Pitfall. They weren’t technically “better” games, but they were more personal. In Space Invaders, I played the role of a space ship that moved around the screen accomplishing a task.  In Pitfall, I was an 8-bit Indiana Jones. I was an 8-bit Indiana Jones.

This personal connectivity is a common thread in my gaming life.  I’d rather play a Mario, Sonic or Punch Out game as I felt far more connected to the character on the screen.  Starfox was a great game, but I was never as personally invested.

At the top of the connectivity heap have always been role-playing games.  Pen and Paper games provided a way to completely control my character from back story and skills to actions and growth.  The connectivity there was completely in my imagination but it was palpable.  With the advent of computer role playing games, I could have a similar experience on my computer. I controlled much of who/what I played in game.

The MMO affords the opportunity to live and breathe in a virtual world.  My ability to connect to a game through my character remains just as relevant today as it did when I played Pitfall.  If I feel a direct connection, I’m going to judge the game more favorably.  Everquest 1 & 2 and World of Warcraft have provided wonderful visual connectivity to my characters. Seeing new equipment reflected in my onscreen avatar brings me further into the game world.  The most immersive game I’ve played has been Star Wars: Galaxies.  My equipment choices were seen directly on my onscreen avatar. The game provided users with access to houses and cities to further create an immersion factor. (I am aware the Ultima Online did this years earlier. I played UO and enjoyed it but ultimately was left wanting more.)

Games like City of Heroes/Villains and now Champions Online provide a great level of customizability in my characters powers, backstory and costume.  Their great failing in my eyes is the complete disconnect between items I’ve equipped and my onscreen avatar.  I play Champions regularly and, as much as I enjoy the game, every moment I play I think about the lack of immersion I feel.

Finally, games the remove my character completely from the experience draw me further and further away from the game itself.  Eve Online and Auto Assault left me feeling completely disconnected even though I was able to customize the onscreen vehicle I was piloting/driving.  That disconnect left me feeling cold and my opinion of the game was directly influenced by the disconnected feeling.  The times in those games when I was afforded the opportunity to explore the world as a human outside of a vehicle were few and far between.  Even in those brief moments, I never felt connected.  So I stopped playing both games relatively quickly.

In the future, I will continue to seek out games that allow me to live in a virtual world and allow me to experience changes in my on screen avatar as a result of my equipment or skill choices.  The ability to manage and maintain a virtual home that includes my spoils of war is crucial.  It’s clearly reached the point that I now look at upcoming games through this filter.  I’m hopeful the new Bioware Star Wars RPG gives me the level of immersion I’m looking for, but we’ll see.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found a few interesting pictures that I’ve wanted to add.  They’re a collection of odd things I see while I’m out and about.

This picture is simply infuriating.  I saw this truck a few weeks ago while having lunch in St Paul.  Where do these people come from? I am all for the free exchange of ideas, but ignorant people frustrate me.

Where do these people come from?

The next image is brought to you by the wonderful folks that paint directions on the street.  The road ends in a T not more than 250 feet from the painted arrows.  You can see the street sign in the distance.  Do they really need to tell drivers that you ONLY go left and right?

The road t's... what other options are there?

I love the next image.  While waiting for chinese takeout, I noticed my little friend in the fish tank. Clearly, he’s the super-hero of the fish tank with his dashing domino mask. I wonder what his secret identity is?

Wonder what this fish does when not in costume?

Finally, while driving to Minnesota tonight, I noticed a quickly moving object north of me on I-39 heading into Rockford, IL.  Clearly, as is normal, I thought it was an alien spacecraft until I got a little closer.  Turns out, the Rockford Airfest was this weekend and a B-1 Bomber <fixed> was flying over the city.  Very cool random sighting while on the road. (and for those that are going to ask, I pulled over to the side of the road to take the picture.. I swear <crosses fingers>!)

B-1 Over Rockford...

I realize I’m still 12 years old.  I get it. As an adult, I’m supposed to avoid doing certain things because they’re childish.  I’m not supposed to play video games, watch cartoons, buy toys or read comics.  For all of the “adult” things I do in my life, the Maturity Police would probably arrest me for being too childish.  Of all the things I am not supposed to do, I think I derive the most joy from reading comics.

I’d dabbled in comics as a kid. I can’t ever remember buying comics in a store or spending much time perusing the spinner racks for the latest issues.  The stash I remember reading was given to me by neighbors on the millitary base I’d lived on in Puerto Rico. They were getting rid of things their dad didn’t want to ship to their new duty station.  The box of goodies contained a few random comics, most of which weren’t memorable.  The jewel of the box? The Frank Miller Wolverine origin story.  Looking back, I wish I had held onto those issues.  I had no idea what was in my hands then.

My brief fling with comic books ended when I lost track of that box of books.  They most likely disappeared when my family moved away in a similar set of circumstances.  I’m sure the kids next door enjoyed their free box of comics.  I didn’t read comics again for 20+ years. I bought into the mantra of the Maturity Police.  Comics were for kids and I desperately didn’t want to be a kid anymore.

I missed the Watchmen. I missed the rise of the collector craze in the 90s.  I missed out on the Daredevil wearing armor.  I missed the death of Superman. I missed the Dark Knight Returns.  I missed it all, because I knew comics were for kids.

A few years back, i truly grew up.  Life events threw me a curveball and I realized that I’d been coasting through life pretending to be an adult.  I braved the trade paperback section at the local mega-bookstore and picked up the first trade of Ultimate Spider-Man by Brian Michael Bendis and The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller. I loved every page of them.  Read from left to right, top to bottom..got it. I was fine.  Until the story spanned facing pages and then i’d occasionally get lost in the flow.  I reread quite a bit that week trying to make sense of the story from time to time.

From that point, I decided that I’d rather support a local comic shop instead of the mega-bookstore and happened to find a really great local shop.  It was well organized, well stocked and the owners were helpful and friendly.  I picked up the rest of the Ultimate Spider-Man trades and branched out a bit until I had some of the other Ultimate lines.  I picked up a number of different Batman books as I went along and enjoyed them as well. I also picked up Watchmen.  Reading through it the first time, as a novice reader, I was lost.  It was amazing but I was lost.  I’ve reread it once or twice since then and I’ve found it to be more enjoyable each time.

Once I was caught up on Ultimate Spider-Man in trade, it didn’t take long to move to the single issues.  I love the serialized nature of the stories and I love the anticipation of getting the next issue. In issues, I’d find myself dabbling more. Trying out an issue or three of things I couldn’t be sure I’d like.

My journey back into comics was an enjoyable one.  I fell in love with the story telling style. I fell in love with the diversity in the art. I fell in love discovering new comics.  One of my favorite things about the comic world is the diversity of the local comic book shops.  In my current job, I get the opportunity to see many different comic shops and I can enjoy the oddities and cultures of each.

In future posts, I’ll talk about the various series that I’ve found and enjoyed.  I’ll talk about the various comic shops I find.  I’ll expand upon my love of comics. After two years of absorbing comic culture and getting acclimated to the world of comics, I want to put my thoughts in order.

I’ve learned that being a grown up doesn’t mean eschewing things I find fun. I can live the life of an adult while still enjoying myself. I own my own home. I have put my personal life back in order. I have a great job that I have no intention of changing, which is a blog post on its own.

All that being said?  When I head out every Wednesday evening to find the local comic shop, I never say I’m going to get my comics.  I say simply that I’m going to get my ‘books’. I just feels more grown up.

When I was a kid, i was obssessed with looking at the starry night.  The stars just hung there twinkling away and every night i’d find the same ones in different places.  I eventually noticed they were moving across the sky nightly and back and forth in the sky over time. It was pretty cool.  Not long after this, I figured out constellations and fell in love with Orion.  Every night, I’d look for Orion.  The stars and Orion were much like how I saw myself. Always on the move, but always the same.

I grew up in a very non-stereotypical way.  Most kids I know lived in one place their entire lives.  They can go back to their homes for the holidays still and they know a neighborhood they grew up in like the back of their hand.  Like the stars, I moved constantly.  By the time I was nine, I had lived in three States and one foreign country. Since then, I’ve lived in four additional States.

Even in situations where I should have found stability, I couldn’t find any. I lived in one house from the fifth grade until I graduated high school. During those eight years, I went to 6 different schools.  A guy can’t catch a break.

Through all of this change, I learned a great deal about myself. I learned who I wanted to be and I learned how I wanted to be.  Family and friends that know me could tell you that I’ve been pretty consistent in my manners, actions and moral compass for years.  I found my voice early in life and took comfort in as my world changed around me.

In the way my mind works, my location in the world was similar to the movement of the stars over the course of the year.  Constantly in different places and always in motion.  My identity and my self-confidence was similar to the stars as an entity.  Always the same, always there.

To this day, when I get out of the car at night, I look up and find the stars and constellations I loved as a kid.  I still think about the movement of the stars at night while I’m driving home from a gig. I still wonder what we’d find if we could travel among the stars.

Of course, now that I’m in a place of my own that I have no plans to vacate, I can’t seem to find Orion at night.  When I’m finally home for a bit, I’m going to stake out my constellation.

Day two of riding the metrolink to downtown stl.. Day two of the train stopping on the way home to change conductors. They change in the middle of a route during rush hour. What the heck?

Heading into work again for another fun filled day of fixing. This Metrolink thing works pretty well and drops me off a block from the office. Can’t complain about that.

Of course, it’s 9 am and the train is filled with Cardinal fans. The whole city is filled with people wearing red jerseys. Makes me miss home and Wrigley. A little bit.

5 more business days before vacation. Can’t wait for San Diego. Three days in SD and two in LA. It’ll be nice to see southern cal again.

Every so often.. a blog needs to die and be reborn.  Over the years, I believe I’ve created more new blogs than I’ve created blog entries.  Oh well, such is the nature of the curious tinkerer.  After ditching WordPress a few years ago due to some update issues, I’ve settled back in with the old pain in the ass.  We’ll see how this goes. I like the new backend and I appreciate many of the ease of management features that I moved to Serendipity for.

Maybe I’ll post more than once a month. maybe.